How did I come to writing project? I came for the free graduate credit. It sounds harsh, doesn’t it? I always think of my original purpose when I hear site directors or leaders from around the country at national meetings make statements like: “We have to find ways to recruit true leaders. We can’t keep taking applicants who only are motivated by the credit.” I would like to tell a story that I always knew writing project had something for me and I finally got there. I would like to tell a story about how I was on the look-out for a professional home and in my systematic search found the writing project. But those are not my stories to tell. The truth is that I was looking for six hours grad credit to make sure my teaching certificate stayed valid. I wasn’t expecting to become a leader. I didn’t want to become a leader. I wanted to take a class that wouldn’t interfere with my life too much but would be interesting and perhaps a little fun. There’s some irony in my drafting my leadership story today, 12 years later, but I won’t go into that now.
I completed my first summer institute with West Virginia Writing Project, which conducted an on-site Summer Institute in Logan County. I don’t remember the flyer or brochure that I read, but I vaguely remember filling out a form. It didn’t occur to me that it was an application. I thought I was registering. I didn’t know that I would need to interview, and didn’t realize that I had interviewed until years later, but I remember being called to the office at school because someone from COGS (the college of graduate studies) wanted to speak with me on the phone. It was Dr. Fran Simone, the director of the West Virginia Writing Project, and in hind-sight I now realize she was conducting a phone interview. I don’t remember her ever telling me that it was an interview. I don’t really even remember what we talked about, but I do remember that at the end of the conversation I knew there was going to be a class kick off meeting one evening at Chapmanville Middle School. I said to a colleague “That’s the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had on the phone. Are all people from the University level that odd?” I guess it was a strange conversation, since I didn’t know it was an interview.
I remember the kick off meeting for that SI group. I learned that as participants we were called “fellows”. I learned that we were expected to “write and share” frequently. It’s ironic that, as an English teacher, I had no idea what that meant. We were in the commons are of Chapmanville Middle School, and Fran, as SI director, gave some information and had us do an opening write. My strongest memory of that evening is that we were placed in our first “writer’s response groups” and I was in a group with an English teacher I only knew peripherally, and for whom I had zero respect, and an art teacher, who I did not know. We sat around the table looking at each other with almost nothing to say. We clearly had not one thing in common, and were incapable of finding common ground on our own.
Then the event was over, and I went home, and in five or six weeks the school year was finished and it was time for the summer institute to begin. There was no contact between any of the fellows or SI facilitators during that time, and I largely forgot the entire kick off meeting, until the evening before the first day of institute, when I began to really think back to the kick-off. I replayed the disaster of writer’s response group over and over in my mind. I determined that there was no way I fit in with the group. I became convinced that the problem was the expectation that I write with no other particular direction. After all, I had ever been a good student, and when I clearly understood the expectations of the instructor I gave them exactly what they wanted for an “A”. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the fault must undoubtedly be with the facilitator. Or the teachers in my group. Or the assignment. But certainly not with me or my understanding of teaching.
Then I began thinking about my primary teaching role at the time. I was a science teacher in my high school, teaching Applied Physics. Clearly this writing stuff wouldn’t really affect me. I doubted anyone could find a way to get me to connect to writing in science class, so I thought that I would armor myself with my science teacher mind set and make it really hard for the Summer Institute facilitators to get to me.
By the next morning I had talked myself out of participating in Summer Institute. Trying to force myself to get my body to the school, I stopped walking on the bridge that crossed the creek to my house, on the way to my car, and couldn’t go another step further. My husband found me standing there when he came out of the house to go to work. I told him “I just can’t do this. Those people are too weird. I’ll hate this. I was so stupid to sign up for four weeks of this shit. Four weeks of the three of us looking at each other? I’ll die. I’ll explode. I’ll go Julia Sugarbaker!” And Ernie gave me no sympathy. He refused to hear me whine. “Get down there!” he barked . “You’ve got to get those hours. Plus they’re free. You’re not going to pass up a deal like that. Do you want to spend your money on tuition when you can get a free class in Chapmanville?” Ernie’s smart. He knew his audience. He played up to my basic Baisden tight-wad nature and forced me to go. “Take a book,” he continued, “if it gets boring you can read. It won’t be too bad.” I always tell this story verbally by saying that I went wailing and crying and gnashing my teeth into the car and that all the way down to Chapmanville I sobbed, but that’s just an exaggerated truth. The truth is I went to that first day of SI pissed off at myself, because I just couldn’t pass up a good deal like free credit. I was mad because in my basic heart of hearts I’m cheap, and I knew that morning as the sun shone over the beautiful mountains and the fog rose up out of the hollers I was passing that I was going to hate all 20 days of that ignorant class.
Clear memories of the morning are dimming with age and a bad thyroid, but I remember a few specifics. I remember that another girl, also named Tracy, showed up as a fellow of the SI, and interestingly enough she was carrying the same novel I was–The Witching Hour by Anne Rice. I remember that I was nervous. Fran was already there arranging the room, and I couldn’t understand her very clear obsession with the way the tables and chairs were placed. It seemed to me that rows had worked fine for the last 200 years of public education, so I couldn’t understand her compulsion to have the ‘circle balanced’ as she kept saying. I took that as another sign that these people were just too weird for me. I don’t remember the opening activities, but I remember that sometime during that day we were given a chapter from one of Donald Murray’s books with which we were to read and respond. And that’s when I got hooked. That’s when I first began to think “Wow! There might be something to this”. In his book Murray wrote that drafting is done “with velocity”. Velocity was a word I understood from my science background. To move with velocity is to move in a specific direction. Velocity is not speed. Speed is simply rate – how fast or slow something moves. Velocity adds the layer of direction. By writing to me that drafting should be done with velocity Murray helped me begin the first drawing together of two parts of my teaching spirit that had been disparate – the Language Arts and the Science teacher sides of me began to envision ways we could connect.
By the end of the first day I really was converted. I wish I knew how Fran, and Paul Epstein (the SI co-facilitator) created that magic that caught me, but the real point is that it happened. Summer Institute turned out to be a much better bargain that I thought it would be, since I ended up with a professional teaching home that I continue to work on, remodel, and upgrade, much as I do the physical house that I live in.
So why do I think this first intro to the SI model is so important to my development as a leader of my site? Because once I was hooked, much against my will, I could not leave the work of the National Writing Project. I hungered to be around teachers who love students, and who constantly seek to improve their teaching practice. I thrive on the simple thrill of discovering something new, and the many layers of writing project provide that for me on a regular basis. I’m like an adrenaline junky working as an ER nurse – except I get my adrenaline from the next great written idea, word, line or image that my students and co-teachers create. Because I was hooked I literally threw myself at writing project leaders in an effort to stay connected to the site. I didn’t know there was a state or national network. I didn’t have an idea that I wanted to be a leader in my community. I simply knew that my teaching life was being dramatically changed by writing project, and I didn’t want to be separated for long from the work. I was like a new Christian who wants to sit and absorb. If it meant that I had to trade a little labor to get to be included in writing project events, that was worth it to me.
I also think my first introduction to the summer institute model is important to my thinking about applications that come to summer institute, and the teachers who come through our front doors and belly up to the table. I myself wasn’t motivated to find some wonderful professional development community and home. I wasn’t motivated to be a teacher of teachers. I wasn’t particularly motivated to get along with the members of the group my first summer. But I am not heartily glad that Dr. Fran Simone and Paul Epstein didn’t write me off as a lost cause the minute they detected my bad attitude and reluctance. I know that it’s important for leaders of writing projects to know that strong leaders (and I am one, now) can come to the table for all the wrong reasons, but stay at the table for all the right reasons.
The next summer Marshall University Writing Project decided to visit Logan and do an on-site summer institute. I applied so fast I imagine mine must have been the first application they received. I called Dolores Johnson, the director and volunteered to do anything she needed. I remember that I ended up being demo coach that summer. I didn’t know what it meant exactly, but I knew I was willing to learn, if it meant being in the Summer Institute again. From that first taste of leadership I began a love affair with growing as a leader in The National Writing Project.
I’ve written all this to remind myself to think about the applications of the teachers who apply for the SI. Today, as a director and member of a national leadership team, I have a very clear idea about what a strong applicant to SI is like. Ironically though, I didn’t meet my own criteria, when I began 12 years ago. Twelve years ago I was looking for free credit. Now, I know there is so much more available to a teacher who comes to the SI. It’s imperative that as we grow as leaders, we don’t lose sight of our own first, humble roots in the work.